Monday, July 14
Thursday, October 11
Sue, Duff Ed
In order to fully appreciate the following, you need a couple bits of background information. Firstly, though I tend to avoid broadcasting it into general knowledge, I occasionally smoke cigars. (If it wasn't so much work, I would entertain pipe smoking as well.) I smoke for a couple of reasons - it smells nice, it gives me something to do around smokers, and it relaxes me - or forces me to relax because it takes so long to actually smoke a cigar. Secondly, Wifey wasn't feeling too good the other night - she has since determined that it probably was sinus related. There. Background basically complete.
So Wifey had class, and we needed some things from Home Depot. Since I was going out (to Home Depot), we decided I would just stop in to buy some Sudafed for her, since she had sinus issues. While I was there, I decided I would buy some Black & Milds (technically, it's more pipe than cigar). As I approached the counter, the following conversation occurred...My text is blue; the clerk's text is green; a bystander's (an off-duty employee) text is red.
Can I get the Sudafed ... I guess the 24-hour stuff, I don't know. And a pack of Black & Milds.
This here? [Clerk references the Sudafed]
Yeah; I guess so.
[Clerk begins ringing the items]
I'm going to need to see some ID for this. [referencing the Sudafed]
Wait, are you id'ing me for the Sudafed and not the Blacks? [cordially, smiling]
Yep!
Really?
We have to. Kids use it to make Crank.
[Clerk checks my driver's license]
Meth, actually.
Crystal Meth, Crank, Speed. Same thing. I guess Crank was a California term.
Wow. I didn't realize how dangerous it could become. Wait, you're scanning it?
[Clerk scans my driver's license]
Yeah. The keep a registry of who buys it and how much and how often you buy it. Sign here for me.
I then proceeded to sign an agreement indicating that I understood the potential dangers of Sudafed and affirming that I would not use it for anything other than its proscribed (not prescribed) use. And it got me thinking ...
WHAT?!?!?
So Wifey had class, and we needed some things from Home Depot. Since I was going out (to Home Depot), we decided I would just stop in to buy some Sudafed for her, since she had sinus issues. While I was there, I decided I would buy some Black & Milds (technically, it's more pipe than cigar). As I approached the counter, the following conversation occurred...My text is blue; the clerk's text is green; a bystander's (an off-duty employee) text is red.
Can I get the Sudafed ... I guess the 24-hour stuff, I don't know. And a pack of Black & Milds.
This here? [Clerk references the Sudafed]
Yeah; I guess so.
[Clerk begins ringing the items]
I'm going to need to see some ID for this. [referencing the Sudafed]
Wait, are you id'ing me for the Sudafed and not the Blacks? [cordially, smiling]
Yep!
Really?
We have to. Kids use it to make Crank.
[Clerk checks my driver's license]
Meth, actually.
Crystal Meth, Crank, Speed. Same thing. I guess Crank was a California term.
Wow. I didn't realize how dangerous it could become. Wait, you're scanning it?
[Clerk scans my driver's license]
Yeah. The keep a registry of who buys it and how much and how often you buy it. Sign here for me.
I then proceeded to sign an agreement indicating that I understood the potential dangers of Sudafed and affirming that I would not use it for anything other than its proscribed (not prescribed) use. And it got me thinking ...
WHAT?!?!?
Thursday, August 9
Pavlov's Addendum
So, read the previous post (it actually appears beneath this one). Awesome. Now on to the addendum...
I know - this person. I'm not going to name him, because PeTA is on the rampage with this whole Michael Vick thing. Anyway, this individual I know has apparently learned a little about Classical Conditioning. And he has employed it against squirrels. Wait for it.
...
So, this individual is fond of birds. He has been feeding birds in his backyard for quite some time. When he began using a hanging feeder, he spent a great deal of time figuring out how to keep the squirrels off the feeder. He developed a bunch of different methods. Then (I think) he gave up. He wanted to get the birds closer, so he just laid the seed out on the deck for them.
As was inevitable, the squirrels began feasting! The bird population was very nice to watch as well. We would sit out on the enclosed porch and watch the wildlife and chat about them. It was quite relaxing. After a while, things became "normal."
...
One day, a squirrel or two (not completely certain on the specifics) clawed through the screen and got into the porch area. And that's just crossing the line. I mean, c'mon squirrels ... that's a home. You don't break and enter. IT'S AGAINST THE LAW! Anyway, it was pretty obvious is that the cause was the seed on the deck. So, naturally, it had to stop.
Option one - and the first that the individual in question tried - was squirting them with the hose any time they came around the seed he continued to provide for the birds. And it sort of worked. I mean, it worked a little bit. On to plan 2 ...
But first, a little background. He's a trained electrical engineer.
Awesome.
So, in order to encourage the squirrels to stay away from the seed intended for the birds, he devised a special greeting for them. He took a regular power cord like would be attached to a lamp, and modified it. He opened it up, and attached some extensions that were left to the elements. That is to say, they were exposed. So anytime the squirrels came around, they got a taste. Don't worry, the lines weren't permanently connected. He needs to be in the porch to plug in the cord and give it the juice. And he doesn't even plug it in all the way - that's how quickly he unplugs it. He's not trying to kill anything. He's just conditioning them. For the first few days it was relatively fruitless. But then, in order to (again) condition them to the understanding that the seed is not for them, he laid some seed in the path of the electrical charge ... and waited.
And the squirrels are no longer a problem.
I know - this person. I'm not going to name him, because PeTA is on the rampage with this whole Michael Vick thing. Anyway, this individual I know has apparently learned a little about Classical Conditioning. And he has employed it against squirrels. Wait for it.
...
So, this individual is fond of birds. He has been feeding birds in his backyard for quite some time. When he began using a hanging feeder, he spent a great deal of time figuring out how to keep the squirrels off the feeder. He developed a bunch of different methods. Then (I think) he gave up. He wanted to get the birds closer, so he just laid the seed out on the deck for them.
As was inevitable, the squirrels began feasting! The bird population was very nice to watch as well. We would sit out on the enclosed porch and watch the wildlife and chat about them. It was quite relaxing. After a while, things became "normal."
...
One day, a squirrel or two (not completely certain on the specifics) clawed through the screen and got into the porch area. And that's just crossing the line. I mean, c'mon squirrels ... that's a home. You don't break and enter. IT'S AGAINST THE LAW! Anyway, it was pretty obvious is that the cause was the seed on the deck. So, naturally, it had to stop.
Option one - and the first that the individual in question tried - was squirting them with the hose any time they came around the seed he continued to provide for the birds. And it sort of worked. I mean, it worked a little bit. On to plan 2 ...
But first, a little background. He's a trained electrical engineer.
Awesome.
So, in order to encourage the squirrels to stay away from the seed intended for the birds, he devised a special greeting for them. He took a regular power cord like would be attached to a lamp, and modified it. He opened it up, and attached some extensions that were left to the elements. That is to say, they were exposed. So anytime the squirrels came around, they got a taste. Don't worry, the lines weren't permanently connected. He needs to be in the porch to plug in the cord and give it the juice. And he doesn't even plug it in all the way - that's how quickly he unplugs it. He's not trying to kill anything. He's just conditioning them. For the first few days it was relatively fruitless. But then, in order to (again) condition them to the understanding that the seed is not for them, he laid some seed in the path of the electrical charge ... and waited.
And the squirrels are no longer a problem.
Monday, July 9
Thank You Pavlov!
Classical conditioning is one of the most basic tenets of human nature. The idea behind it is that anyone can be trained, when given the proper motivation. The most oft cited example is Pavlov's dogs. What Pavlov did was ring a bell before feeding his dogs. He did this for long enough that the dogs did the math and realized that the bell meant that food was coming. Eventually, Pavlov got the dogs to salivate (pretty heavily, I believe) with just the bell.
So Pavlov taught us a bit about this classical conditioning. And we can really see it in daily life. So it isn't some grand idea that nobody uses.
Yesterday (07-08-07), I was in DC. I went in during the day because Wifey had to do some work, and I had to keep looking for a job. So we got some food and she went into the office and I sat outside to relax and enjoy the air ... and eat my food. So I sat at a table outside of a Starbucks about 3 blocks from the White House and about half a block from a small park. I think it's called Homeless Park. But maybe that's just a nickname. Anyway, I'm at a Starbucks that's is currently very empty (it's a Sunday after all).
So about a minute or so after I sat down I get accosted. I mean, I'm just starting to open the bag and get a good smell of my fries, and WHAM! three little birds landed on my table. And they looked longingly at my food, as though they were expecting me to just give them my food. So I try to shoo them away - unsuccessfully. In fact, what ended up happening was about a dozen came and just sat on the table, or one of the other chairs, or under the table just waiting for me to feed them.
Now, okay, birds need to eat too, right? Well, think about this - birds eat seeds and stuff. Not burgers and fries, right? Obviously these birds have been conditioned to eat what people voluntarily give them. Most birds, as you approach them, scatter. Even in New York City pigeons flee as people close in. And NYC Pigeons are just scavengers! Needless to say, it was pretty ridiculous.
So Pavlov taught us a bit about this classical conditioning. And we can really see it in daily life. So it isn't some grand idea that nobody uses.
Yesterday (07-08-07), I was in DC. I went in during the day because Wifey had to do some work, and I had to keep looking for a job. So we got some food and she went into the office and I sat outside to relax and enjoy the air ... and eat my food. So I sat at a table outside of a Starbucks about 3 blocks from the White House and about half a block from a small park. I think it's called Homeless Park. But maybe that's just a nickname. Anyway, I'm at a Starbucks that's is currently very empty (it's a Sunday after all).
So about a minute or so after I sat down I get accosted. I mean, I'm just starting to open the bag and get a good smell of my fries, and WHAM! three little birds landed on my table. And they looked longingly at my food, as though they were expecting me to just give them my food. So I try to shoo them away - unsuccessfully. In fact, what ended up happening was about a dozen came and just sat on the table, or one of the other chairs, or under the table just waiting for me to feed them.
Now, okay, birds need to eat too, right? Well, think about this - birds eat seeds and stuff. Not burgers and fries, right? Obviously these birds have been conditioned to eat what people voluntarily give them. Most birds, as you approach them, scatter. Even in New York City pigeons flee as people close in. And NYC Pigeons are just scavengers! Needless to say, it was pretty ridiculous.
Thursday, April 19
A Blog without a Country
So, Kurt Vonnegut died, huh? It's a little surprising, I imagine, for some of you to hear that I've only read one Vonnegut book - his most recent one. He's an American literary icon, and I've only taken it upon myself to read one measly novel? On top of that, I didn't even technically read it! Audiobooks!
So I've now decided that I will read his corpus by the end of the year. I've got one out of the way - only like 18 more! Fortunately, I own Slaughterhouse-Five. He's a satirist, so I imagine I'll enjoy the books. But that kind of doesn't matter. Often, I find myself reading things that I don't enjoy. I read them because of the value. And I wonder if that makes me a little bit crazy. There's always that twinge in the back of my head that wonders what makes it valuable if it's not enjoyable (think Shakespeare). And that's coming from an English teacher.
While we're talking about Vonnegut, I'd like to point out that he died as a result of a fall at his home a few weeks ago. I didn't know he fell a few weeks ago. How did I miss that memo?!?!? It's not like I've been neglecting to put the cover sheet on my TPS reports and so there was some justification to just stop including me on the memos...
Anyway, Vonnegut's death obviously won't impact me, or American subculture, in any major way for a few years. Someone needs to replace him - which really only means periodically writing a book - as the iconoclastic satirist. I nominate Philip Roth. And maybe one day, if I can start sustaining plotlines, I'll throw my hat in the ring too.
So I've now decided that I will read his corpus by the end of the year. I've got one out of the way - only like 18 more! Fortunately, I own Slaughterhouse-Five. He's a satirist, so I imagine I'll enjoy the books. But that kind of doesn't matter. Often, I find myself reading things that I don't enjoy. I read them because of the value. And I wonder if that makes me a little bit crazy. There's always that twinge in the back of my head that wonders what makes it valuable if it's not enjoyable (think Shakespeare). And that's coming from an English teacher.
While we're talking about Vonnegut, I'd like to point out that he died as a result of a fall at his home a few weeks ago. I didn't know he fell a few weeks ago. How did I miss that memo?!?!? It's not like I've been neglecting to put the cover sheet on my TPS reports and so there was some justification to just stop including me on the memos...
Anyway, Vonnegut's death obviously won't impact me, or American subculture, in any major way for a few years. Someone needs to replace him - which really only means periodically writing a book - as the iconoclastic satirist. I nominate Philip Roth. And maybe one day, if I can start sustaining plotlines, I'll throw my hat in the ring too.
Thursday, April 5
Stupid Internet
Interesting Idea here: I heard recently on some news station (radio) that one of the upper echelon members of al Qaida said that he hasn't used the phone or internet in 4 years. Could you imagine performing dastardly deeds without your picture phone in your pocket? How would you prove to your friends that you knew ObL (that's my special little nickname for Osama bin Laden)?
Speaking of Nicknames: Why do we give them out? It's like a free pass to coolness credit - even when we give nicknames to people simply because they're NOT cool. Take, for example, those annoying little bastards behind the wheel in front of you. Granted, they get boring, loserish nicknames like "New Jersey" or "New York" or "Woman Driver" ... but they have still affected us enough to give them a nickname. Those of you teachers out there (and I know there are some), take a second and think about your students. There are some you just call by name. Others you have nicknames for. How do you decide?
Decisions, decisions: Oh good lawd deciding things is hard. I mean, all it really takes is a simple prioritizing moment. But isn't that sometimes too hard? And other times it's instinctual. What did you have for dinner last night? Why? Did I just prove my point? or do you not prioritize? or are you too dimwitted (no offense) to think about why you had pork even though you could have enjoyed those taquitos in a salsa glaze with a Mint Mojito while dining by candlelight with your favorite pet rock? or did I just blow your mind?
Wait, Mind Blowing?: Ever talk to someone and just not have an answer because they blew your mind?
Like I Said: Stupid internet. I had this really great post all written up the other day (it was about ... I don't remember. I just remember that it was really good). And then I hit "Save as Draft" and left the room. A couple of hours later, I return to said computer only to see that I had forgotten to close one of my tags (it's an html thing, it doesn't matter). And then I tried to recover it .. NO DICE! So I'm whining about it. Whine. Go ahead ... I've earned a trip in the waaaaahmbulance. And I guess that completes the circle.
PS>> For those of my loyal readers who are more adept at html coding than I am ... Deal with it. I try to make sure my content speaks louder than my little tricks with html ... so what if my best little trick is (what I like to call) Old School. Feel free to share some knowledge with me. Computer literacy hogs.
Speaking of Nicknames: Why do we give them out? It's like a free pass to coolness credit - even when we give nicknames to people simply because they're NOT cool. Take, for example, those annoying little bastards behind the wheel in front of you. Granted, they get boring, loserish nicknames like "New Jersey" or "New York" or "Woman Driver" ... but they have still affected us enough to give them a nickname. Those of you teachers out there (and I know there are some), take a second and think about your students. There are some you just call by name. Others you have nicknames for. How do you decide?
Decisions, decisions: Oh good lawd deciding things is hard. I mean, all it really takes is a simple prioritizing moment. But isn't that sometimes too hard? And other times it's instinctual. What did you have for dinner last night? Why? Did I just prove my point? or do you not prioritize? or are you too dimwitted (no offense) to think about why you had pork even though you could have enjoyed those taquitos in a salsa glaze with a Mint Mojito while dining by candlelight with your favorite pet rock? or did I just blow your mind?
Wait, Mind Blowing?: Ever talk to someone and just not have an answer because they blew your mind?
Like I Said: Stupid internet. I had this really great post all written up the other day (it was about ... I don't remember. I just remember that it was really good). And then I hit "Save as Draft" and left the room. A couple of hours later, I return to said computer only to see that I had forgotten to close one of my tags (it's an html thing, it doesn't matter). And then I tried to recover it .. NO DICE! So I'm whining about it. Whine. Go ahead ... I've earned a trip in the waaaaahmbulance. And I guess that completes the circle.
PS>> For those of my loyal readers who are more adept at html coding than I am ... Deal with it. I try to make sure my content speaks louder than my little tricks with html ... so what if my best little trick is (what I like to call) Old School. Feel free to share some knowledge with me. Computer literacy hogs.
Thursday, March 1
Odd Rambling of Newsy
Some people have their little "addictions" ... this is kind of mine.
A couple of my friends subscribed to The Week Magazine. It's pretty much the awesomeisty thing on the face of the magazine rack. Each of the features is right nice within the covers. That sentence was terrible.
Ok, let's restart a little bit.
The Week Magazine is phenomenal. As far as a news source, it's as complete as I can imagine. It includes national, international, political, entertainment, new release, obituary, real estate, food, and other news items. It's like News for the ADD.
Now, I'll be honest. I don't read the online version. I think I'm a little sick of the internet these days. Hence, quite infrequent posting on my part. I'm making an effort* though. It's tough to get on here these days. But I'm making the effort. For you. My audience. Of 3. (Hey, I've got more than The Daily Show.)
Anyways, here's the deal with the Week. Those friends that subscribed to it are trying to proliferate (not a subliminal message advertising a pro-life stance) its acceptance across the world! Meaning: they ordered several gift subscriptions for people - myself included. And how I appreciate it. And while it's a good gift and I read it regularly, the new one comes out and I get so frustrated because I haven't finished last week's Week; so now this week's Week has arrived half a week early, and the other Week is sitting on my nightstand half read. It's terrible. And I live a sad, depressing life. But at least I have Post Secret! Right, Turner?
*Due props to my Big Brother for noting the typo in "effort." Oddly enough, I had actually caught and changed it, or so I thought. Apparently, I wholly suck.
A couple of my friends subscribed to The Week Magazine. It's pretty much the awesomeisty thing on the face of the magazine rack. Each of the features is right nice within the covers. That sentence was terrible.
Ok, let's restart a little bit.
The Week Magazine is phenomenal. As far as a news source, it's as complete as I can imagine. It includes national, international, political, entertainment, new release, obituary, real estate, food, and other news items. It's like News for the ADD.
Now, I'll be honest. I don't read the online version. I think I'm a little sick of the internet these days. Hence, quite infrequent posting on my part. I'm making an effort* though. It's tough to get on here these days. But I'm making the effort. For you. My audience. Of 3. (Hey, I've got more than The Daily Show.)
Anyways, here's the deal with the Week. Those friends that subscribed to it are trying to proliferate (not a subliminal message advertising a pro-life stance) its acceptance across the world! Meaning: they ordered several gift subscriptions for people - myself included. And how I appreciate it. And while it's a good gift and I read it regularly, the new one comes out and I get so frustrated because I haven't finished last week's Week; so now this week's Week has arrived half a week early, and the other Week is sitting on my nightstand half read. It's terrible. And I live a sad, depressing life. But at least I have Post Secret! Right, Turner?
*Due props to my Big Brother for noting the typo in "effort." Oddly enough, I had actually caught and changed it, or so I thought. Apparently, I wholly suck.
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