Generic Oddities ... among other things.

...

2008-07-14T17:33:00.002-04:00

Sue, Duff Ed

2007-10-11T14:39:00.000-04:00

In order to fully appreciate the following, you need a couple bits of background information. Firstly, though I tend to avoid broadcasting it into general knowledge, I occasionally smoke cigars. (If it wasn't so much work, I would entertain pipe smoking as well.) I smoke for a couple of reasons - it smells nice, it gives me something to do around smokers, and it relaxes me - or forces me to relax because it takes so long to actually smoke a cigar. Secondly, Wifey wasn't feeling too good the other night - she has since determined that it probably was sinus related. There. Background basically complete.

So Wifey had class, and we needed some things from Home Depot. Since I was going out (to Home Depot), we decided I would just stop in to buy some Sudafed for her, since she had sinus issues. While I was there, I decided I would buy some Black & Milds (technically, it's more pipe than cigar). As I approached the counter, the following conversation occurred...My text is blue; the clerk's text is green; a bystander's (an off-duty employee) text is red.

Can I get the Sudafed ... I guess the 24-hour stuff, I don't know. And a pack of Black & Milds.
This here? [Clerk references the Sudafed]
Yeah; I guess so.
[Clerk begins ringing the items]
I'm going to need to see some ID for this. [referencing the Sudafed]
Wait, are you id'ing me for the Sudafed and not the Blacks? [cordially, smiling]
Yep!
Really?
We have to. Kids use it to make Crank.
[Clerk checks my driver's license]
Meth, actually.
Crystal Meth, Crank, Speed. Same thing. I guess Crank was a California term.
Wow. I didn't realize how dangerous it could become. Wait, you're scanning it?
[Clerk scans my driver's license]
Yeah. The keep a registry of who buys it and how much and how often you buy it. Sign here for me.

I then proceeded to sign an agreement indicating that I understood the potential dangers of Sudafed and affirming that I would not use it for anything other than its proscribed (not prescribed) use. And it got me thinking ...

WHAT?!?!?

Pavlov's Addendum

2007-08-09T22:28:00.000-04:00

So, read the previous post (it actually appears beneath this one). Awesome. Now on to the addendum...

I know - this person. I'm not going to name him, because PeTA is on the rampage with this whole Michael Vick thing. Anyway, this individual I know has apparently learned a little about Classical Conditioning. And he has employed it against squirrels. Wait for it.
...
So, this individual is fond of birds. He has been feeding birds in his backyard for quite some time. When he began using a hanging feeder, he spent a great deal of time figuring out how to keep the squirrels off the feeder. He developed a bunch of different methods. Then (I think) he gave up. He wanted to get the birds closer, so he just laid the seed out on the deck for them.
As was inevitable, the squirrels began feasting! The bird population was very nice to watch as well. We would sit out on the enclosed porch and watch the wildlife and chat about them. It was quite relaxing. After a while, things became "normal."
...
One day, a squirrel or two (not completely certain on the specifics) clawed through the screen and got into the porch area. And that's just crossing the line. I mean, c'mon squirrels ... that's a home. You don't break and enter. IT'S AGAINST THE LAW! Anyway, it was pretty obvious is that the cause was the seed on the deck. So, naturally, it had to stop.
Option one - and the first that the individual in question tried - was squirting them with the hose any time they came around the seed he continued to provide for the birds. And it sort of worked. I mean, it worked a little bit. On to plan 2 ...
But first, a little background. He's a trained electrical engineer.
Awesome.
So, in order to encourage the squirrels to stay away from the seed intended for the birds, he devised a special greeting for them. He took a regular power cord like would be attached to a lamp, and modified it. He opened it up, and attached some extensions that were left to the elements. That is to say, they were exposed. So anytime the squirrels came around, they got a taste. Don't worry, the lines weren't permanently connected. He needs to be in the porch to plug in the cord and give it the juice. And he doesn't even plug it in all the way - that's how quickly he unplugs it. He's not trying to kill anything. He's just conditioning them. For the first few days it was relatively fruitless. But then, in order to (again) condition them to the understanding that the seed is not for them, he laid some seed in the path of the electrical charge ... and waited.
And the squirrels are no longer a problem.

Thank You Pavlov!

2007-07-09T15:04:00.001-04:00

Classical conditioning is one of the most basic tenets of human nature. The idea behind it is that anyone can be trained, when given the proper motivation. The most oft cited example is Pavlov's dogs. What Pavlov did was ring a bell before feeding his dogs. He did this for long enough that the dogs did the math and realized that the bell meant that food was coming. Eventually, Pavlov got the dogs to salivate (pretty heavily, I believe) with just the bell.
So Pavlov taught us a bit about this classical conditioning. And we can really see it in daily life. So it isn't some grand idea that nobody uses.
Yesterday (07-08-07), I was in DC. I went in during the day because Wifey had to do some work, and I had to keep looking for a job. So we got some food and she went into the office and I sat outside to relax and enjoy the air ... and eat my food. So I sat at a table outside of a Starbucks about 3 blocks from the White House and about half a block from a small park. I think it's called Homeless Park. But maybe that's just a nickname. Anyway, I'm at a Starbucks that's is currently very empty (it's a Sunday after all).
So about a minute or so after I sat down I get accosted. I mean, I'm just starting to open the bag and get a good smell of my fries, and WHAM! three little birds landed on my table. And they looked longingly at my food, as though they were expecting me to just give them my food. So I try to shoo them away - unsuccessfully. In fact, what ended up happening was about a dozen came and just sat on the table, or one of the other chairs, or under the table just waiting for me to feed them.
Now, okay, birds need to eat too, right? Well, think about this - birds eat seeds and stuff. Not burgers and fries, right? Obviously these birds have been conditioned to eat what people voluntarily give them. Most birds, as you approach them, scatter. Even in New York City pigeons flee as people close in. And NYC Pigeons are just scavengers! Needless to say, it was pretty ridiculous.

A Blog without a Country

2007-04-19T06:45:00.000-04:00

So, Kurt Vonnegut died, huh? It's a little surprising, I imagine, for some of you to hear that I've only read one Vonnegut book - his most recent one. He's an American literary icon, and I've only taken it upon myself to read one measly novel? On top of that, I didn't even technically read it! Audiobooks!
So I've now decided that I will read his corpus by the end of the year. I've got one out of the way - only like 18 more! Fortunately, I own Slaughterhouse-Five. He's a satirist, so I imagine I'll enjoy the books. But that kind of doesn't matter. Often, I find myself reading things that I don't enjoy. I read them because of the value. And I wonder if that makes me a little bit crazy. There's always that twinge in the back of my head that wonders what makes it valuable if it's not enjoyable (think Shakespeare). And that's coming from an English teacher.
While we're talking about Vonnegut, I'd like to point out that he died as a result of a fall at his home a few weeks ago. I didn't know he fell a few weeks ago. How did I miss that memo?!?!? It's not like I've been neglecting to put the cover sheet on my TPS reports and so there was some justification to just stop including me on the memos...
Anyway, Vonnegut's death obviously won't impact me, or American subculture, in any major way for a few years. Someone needs to replace him - which really only means periodically writing a book - as the iconoclastic satirist. I nominate Philip Roth. And maybe one day, if I can start sustaining plotlines, I'll throw my hat in the ring too.

Stupid Internet

2007-04-05T22:25:00.000-04:00

Interesting Idea here: I heard recently on some news station (radio) that one of the upper echelon members of al Qaida said that he hasn't used the phone or internet in 4 years. Could you imagine performing dastardly deeds without your picture phone in your pocket? How would you prove to your friends that you knew ObL (that's my special little nickname for Osama bin Laden)?

Speaking of Nicknames: Why do we give them out? It's like a free pass to coolness credit - even when we give nicknames to people simply because they're NOT cool. Take, for example, those annoying little bastards behind the wheel in front of you. Granted, they get boring, loserish nicknames like "New Jersey" or "New York" or "Woman Driver" ... but they have still affected us enough to give them a nickname. Those of you teachers out there (and I know there are some), take a second and think about your students. There are some you just call by name. Others you have nicknames for. How do you decide?

Decisions, decisions: Oh good lawd deciding things is hard. I mean, all it really takes is a simple prioritizing moment. But isn't that sometimes too hard? And other times it's instinctual. What did you have for dinner last night? Why? Did I just prove my point? or do you not prioritize? or are you too dimwitted (no offense) to think about why you had pork even though you could have enjoyed those taquitos in a salsa glaze with a Mint Mojito while dining by candlelight with your favorite pet rock? or did I just blow your mind?

Wait, Mind Blowing?: Ever talk to someone and just not have an answer because they blew your mind?

Like I Said: Stupid internet. I had this really great post all written up the other day (it was about ... I don't remember. I just remember that it was really good). And then I hit "Save as Draft" and left the room. A couple of hours later, I return to said computer only to see that I had forgotten to close one of my tags (it's an html thing, it doesn't matter). And then I tried to recover it .. NO DICE! So I'm whining about it. Whine. Go ahead ... I've earned a trip in the waaaaahmbulance. And I guess that completes the circle.

PS>> For those of my loyal readers who are more adept at html coding than I am ... Deal with it. I try to make sure my content speaks louder than my little tricks with html ... so what if my best little trick is (what I like to call) Old School. Feel free to share some knowledge with me. Computer literacy hogs.

Odd Rambling of Newsy

2007-03-01T13:10:00.000-05:00

Some people have their little "addictions" ... this is kind of mine.
A couple of my friends subscribed to The Week Magazine. It's pretty much the awesomeisty thing on the face of the magazine rack. Each of the features is right nice within the covers. That sentence was terrible.
Ok, let's restart a little bit.
The Week Magazine is phenomenal. As far as a news source, it's as complete as I can imagine. It includes national, international, political, entertainment, new release, obituary, real estate, food, and other news items. It's like News for the ADD.
Now, I'll be honest. I don't read the online version. I think I'm a little sick of the internet these days. Hence, quite infrequent posting on my part. I'm making an effort* though. It's tough to get on here these days. But I'm making the effort. For you. My audience. Of 3. (Hey, I've got more than The Daily Show.)
Anyways, here's the deal with the Week. Those friends that subscribed to it are trying to proliferate (not a subliminal message advertising a pro-life stance) its acceptance across the world! Meaning: they ordered several gift subscriptions for people - myself included. And how I appreciate it. And while it's a good gift and I read it regularly, the new one comes out and I get so frustrated because I haven't finished last week's Week; so now this week's Week has arrived half a week early, and the other Week is sitting on my nightstand half read. It's terrible. And I live a sad, depressing life. But at least I have Post Secret! Right, Turner?

*Due props to my Big Brother for noting the typo in "effort." Oddly enough, I had actually caught and changed it, or so I thought. Apparently, I wholly suck.

What a Wacky Language

2007-02-25T22:14:00.000-05:00

So, English is ... ridiculous. The language, that is and the way it can be adapted. Think about how often a card-carrying member of the Grammar Police corrects your speech, even though they could completely understand what you meant. By definition, the ability to correct means that you understand. And what exactly is the purpose of speaking/communicating? Message conveyance.
Realize, now, that an exampleless claim is also sans worth. Let's begin:

Speeding
The speed at which we talk, while it cannot be conveyed through the written word, can really affect our ability to be understood. Some might argue that typing without spaces might be able to convey a quick pace, but it still doesn't quite ... keep pace. Sometimes, people will g'head and put little hyphens in the midst of a series of words to "connect" them. But then other people will g'head and put little hyphens in the midst of a series of words to separate them. I think I'll let-that-go...
However, for me there are points in my daily rantings that I absolutely need to speak without leaving an opportunity to interject. Mostly, though, that's because I'm a jerk. I also am a pretty big Bone Thugs~N~Harmony fan.

Rhyming
How easy is it to rhyme? Oh my lawd even a clod could get a job and rob a slob if they needed to heed it while they read it. Listen and earn a glimpse in and out and about trying to heal the gout. I mean for real for real. All you need to do (for those who are simple even) is change the first letter of the word.
Ok, so that doesn't mean that you're good at rhyming, but still it's rhyming. Right? (by the by, I just heard "gloss rhymes with hair" on Family Guy)

Doubling
To double a word is oftentimes used in extremely informal situations. I cannot imagine, as a teacher, using it while actually educating the youth. However, when wifey and I are chatting, surely I'll make the necessary adjustments. Similarly, I can pretty easily see kids using it without even realizing the intricacies of doing so.
"Hey, what're you doing?"
Work
"Work? or work work?"
Eres tu comprende?

Harmonious Harlotry, or Slutting up the Summer

2006-09-13T07:22:00.000-04:00

Is it me, or does music become raunchier and raunchier during the North American summer? I mean, is it that musicians are ultimately whores to the business and so themes generate and are strictly adhered to? Hmm, let's analyze this...

I Write Sins Not Tragedies (Panic! at the Disco)

Okay, I'm starting with this one because it annoys me. Since when do songs not rhyme? I recognize of course that there is the whole "poetic license" thing, but come on! Also, the whole point of the song is that "the poor groom's bride is a whore!" How is that an entire song? And it doesn't even make sense! "Technically our marriage is saved?" "Pour some champagne?" I think I became dumber from listening - especially since it's on every 10 minutes on HOT 99.5.

Miss New Booty (Bubba Sparxxx)

And this one began the summer! Now, I haven't had the patience to count, but I think the word "booty" is as prolific as all the other words combined! That's a little redundant if you ask me. And on top of that it doesn't actually mean anything!!! well, unless you count "your chest is just whatever" as a deep message. But I don't. And here's the beauty of the song in reference to this blog - women love this song.

Sexyback (Justin Timberlake, featuring Timbaland)

Whew! I've been waiting and waiting for sexy to finally return! I'll be honest with you - I never expected JT to be the one to return it to us. I mean, if anyone was going to bring it back, I figured it would be Orlando Bloom ... or George Clooney. For the record, women are virtually incapable of bringing it back. I mean what woman is sexy? Exactly. Now Kurt Vonnegut ... that's a sexy man. JT, however, is pretty happy to be shackled up if he misbehaves. Don't offer that! Haven't you ever heard about Angela Jones?? Now, my one hesitation about JT returning sexy to us is that he curses! I mean, I listen to the Russ Parr Morning Show periodically, and on that particular radio show, Mickey curses. But a Mouseketeer?!?! You've got to be kidding me! But, oh well...

I'm Bossy (Kelis, featuring Too $hort)

Anything Too $hort touches is going to be raunchy. That's the beginning. And let's not forget about how one person's Milkshake can, fairly easily, bring "all the boys to the yard." Just so you know, my milkshake only brings a handful of boys to the yard .. not quite all. And that saddens me. She reminds us of her uncanny ability to work her milkshake (wasn't there some controversy about what exactly a "milkshake" was??), and then goes on to talk about how she demands things of others. That's just not nice. The positive aspect of this song: At least she tried to hide it, right? I mean, let's look at Rihanna..

I Don't Wanna (Rihanna)

Then DON'T!!! It's not that hard! I mean, I don't wanna eat mushrooms...I don't! She claims that she doesn't want to cheat anymore, and yet she still walks out the door pretending that no one knows even though they both do! Baffling! She is essentially glorifying creeping regardless of how you feel emotionally ... Hmmm which is more important - Sex or a Relationship? That's a tough one (Note the sarcasm).

Buttons (Pussycat Dolls, featuring Big Snoop Dogg)

First of all, they chose to call themselves the Pussycat Dolls. Secondly, and this is only mildly related, sometimes the radio edits Snoops verse ... and takes out "Pussycat." Secondly, and don't get me wrong I'm all about the Women's movement but, the hook is "loosen up my buttons babe." Apparently, they are incapable of preparing themselves. Y'know, for whatever they need. In fact, they are essentially saying that they are far too excited and they men around them, despite their excellent game, are incapable of fulfilling their promises. And have you seen the video?

Me & U (Cassie)

The good news is she's technically of age ... but that doesn't mean that the song isn't ... umm, suggestive. I mean, everyone apparently is wondering how well she puts it down. I don't wonder. I don't care. I've already been brought to a different yard. And speaking of videos, I'm really quite tired of Flashdance rip off videos. Just her standing there dancing provocatively? Weak.

Promiscuous (Nelly Furtado, featuring Timbaland)

Umm... look at the title, dummy.
For the record, and to show just how screwy the music world is, the top 5 songs on American Top 40 for this past week were:
5 - Sexyback
4 - Me & U
3 - I Write Sins Not Tragedies
2 - Promiscuous
1 - Buttons

The Boondocks(R)

2006-08-08T17:23:00.000-04:00

Wow. It's been a long time since I found anything worth writing about. Sort of. I've had some computer issues of late. And I sort of know what to do. That's the beauty of things to me - you can always find something out if you really want to know it. There's always going to be someone that knows, and I guarantee we have access to that knowledge. What we then choose to do with that knowledge is our choice. And that makes Fate a little bit tricky.

So, as I've been "promising," the story about why I'm asking you to buy The Boondocks Season 1 on DVD. My wife recently (within the past couple of months) left an umbrella on her commuter bus. This bus system has a central depot, but (apparently) once something lands there, it returns not. A very conscientious man, Bill, knew this and fortunately, noticed wifey's umbrella on the bus and knew who it belonged to. What a great guy so far, right?

So anyway, his kindness started a cordial and fairly regular relationship between him and my wife (no infidelity fears; that is not where this is headed - ease off). Periodically, they see each other on the bus and chat about things. Well, on Tuesday, July 25, they had an encounter like normal. However, today, Bill was rather excited ... he had news he wanted to share.

Apparently, his son is involved in the entertainment industry. Some kind of writer or something. Anyway, they were chatting, and Bill mentioned that if The Boondocks DVDs sold well, he might be able to retire! That's great! We'd all like to be able to retire, right? Well, they (not sure how) got around to talking about last names. Apparently, Bill's last name is McGruder. Bill's son is Aaron. Aaron McGruder. He writes comic strips - and a television show based on the comic strip. You guessed it ... he writes The Boondocks. And I purchased the first season that day.

Mind you, I am a teacher. One of my career goals is to teach a college level curriculum. On comic strips and their literary merit. The best (note that I do not say "my favorite") comic strip currently in syndication is The Boondocks. I subscribe to ucomics to email me the strip every day. I own all four books (Because I Know You Don't Read the Newspaper; Fresh for '01 ... You Suckas!; A Right to be Hostile; Public Enemy #2). In college, I even turned in a major project on The Boondocks. However, I had never seen the show in its entirety - not a single episode until very recently. Now I have a couple of very nice pieces of artwork in my house.

For the record, I would have posted sooner, but I wanted wifey to write this - being her story and all. But she's been extremely busy of late. The two of us one night, actually, spent like 8 hours doing some payroll work that had to get done. It doesn't help that we're both in grad school too.

Changing Gears

2006-07-27T14:14:00.000-04:00

So, in order to lighten things up here, I'm going back to amusing observations I've made recently. In fact, these observations are only a day or two old.

Cancer Gala: on August 6^th at the Rod N Reel in Calvert County, Maryland. Now, let's be fair. I included all the information I know because it's probably a very worthy cause. But, seriously... a Cancer Gala? Isn't a gala a joyous event where you try to raise money to benefit some cause or another? Oh, wait, I see what you're saying. It's an anti-cancer gala. Perhaps they are raising money to fund stem-cell research ... ... ... Oh, wait, it's Calvert County. They're probably not (though I hope they do!).
Drumming and Driving: on the Beltway no less. What really makes this especially interesting is that in many places, it is illegal to drive while talking on a handheld cell phone. But apparently, we don't need to tackle things like ... dogs on laps while driving. I mean, that's completely safe. It's not like the dog has a will of its own. I mean, it couldn't possible pee on you causing you to freak out (because you're not especially interested in R. Kelly's favorite form of foreplay) and swerve into my car. Similarly, drumming - with drumsticks - on the steering wheel - as though it was a really poor snare drum - is also acceptable.
ONLYGOD: a vanity plate. Yes, a vanity plate. Now, I'm not especially religious these days, but even during the time I was, I thought that mixing God and vanity was rather oxymoronic. However, this particular plate caught my attention for some special reasons. FIRST: it was a Maryland plate - Virginia I can understand because it has the highest per capita vanity plate of all the 50 states. But Marylanders don't have them as much. SECOND: the phrase ends with "... can judge me." Whenever people say something like - "Only God can judge me" it usually means they're guilty of something, and they feel bad about it. Maybe they didn't kill someone, but maybe they lied about something. Or maybe they didn't tithe last weekend. Or maybe they disagreed with something Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson said. Either way, they're probably guilty. THIRD: this vanity plate happened to be on a Hummer, H1. Those were the ridiculously large, unnecessarily pollutant ones. Again, not that religious these days, but I do recall something about how we, as humans and masters of the universe, are supposed to take care of the world. Yes, everything is under our rule and we can do with it what we want (eat cows, use birds to make our pillows fluffier, etc). But utterly wasting expensive natural resources? I think that's what the plate meant. ONLYGOD can judge me for driving this hunk of insanity through cities and not mountains as it was designed.
Free Money: to the tune of $45. Twice today I was offered a credit card. Which each offer came free money. $15 and $30. I took up neither offer. Do these gimmicks work? I mean, I like free money. That's why I go to WaWa. No ATM surcharge. It's fabulous. I'm not paying someone else $3 so I can go broke more quickly. That'd be foolish of me. Especially if I do it over and over and over and over again. Let's do the math. Say you withdraw once a month from an ATM that is not your bank's. Say their surcharge is $2.50. That's ... let me do the math (12 x 2.5 = carry the one ... ) $30! In one year. Just gone. (That is, of course, just one credit card offer above). But offering money just so that I will sign up to pay you to let me spend my own money at your store? I won't do it... throw in a t-shirt, though, and I'm sold!

So, I intended to write more, but instead I thought this would suffice for now. Plus, I can save up!

The Land of a 1,000 Cedars

2006-07-22T17:27:00.000-04:00

WARNING! AHEAD! YOU MIGHT DISAGREE WITH ME. THAT'S OKAY; WE'LL STILL BE FRIENDS.

... You guessed it ... Lebanon ... some of you may have been expecting it. And now it's here. I'm not wasting time on html coding for this one; it's just outright writing.
We live in a world where "terrorism" is a buzzword. For those who haven't noticed during their lives, buzzwords tend to become frivolous to our language. Right now, a "terrorist" organization is being blamed for a "crisis in the mideast." Hezbollah (which most news-anchors are mispronouncing) entered the independent state of Israel and captured 2 soldiers while killing 3 other soldiers.

Ok. Hezbollah killed 3 soldiers and has possession of 2 others.
Ok. Israel has a right to defend herself.
Ok. Self-defense - let's look at that quickly. If I try to
punch you, an appropriate response in self-defense would be that you
~a) punch me before my hit lands
~b) kick me in the shins several times after the punch lands
~c) get some brass knuckles and beat every white kid with short hair and a beard you see for the next decade.

Well, that's a tough one. I'll let you decide for yourself. Now, Israel has its own answer - though the question was not posed to them in a Selected Response format. Here's their answer:

"This affair is between Israel and the state of Lebanon," Major-General Udi
Adam, head of Israel's Northern Command says. "Where to attack? Once it is
inside Lebanon, everything is legitimate - not just southern Lebanon, not just
the line of Hezbollah posts."
Lieutenant-General Dan Halutz, Israel's chief
of staff, says: "If the soldiers are not returned, we will turn Lebanon's clock
back 20 years."

Wow. They are clearly very serious. So the series of events of the first two days:
1st - 2 soldiers are "kidnapped," 3 are killed, then 5 more are killed in Lebanon near where he soldiers were taken (Totals: Israeli soldiers dead = 8; Israeli civilians dead = 0; Lebanese/Hezbollah soldiers dead = 0; Lebanese/Hezbollah civilians dead = 0).
2nd - Israel begins its fervent "Retrieval" efforts. They bomb the airport in Beirut's runway, effectively closing it to travel. Israel enacts an air & sea blockade of Lebanon and bombs buildings they believe house Hezbollah leaders. Hezbollah (not Lebanon) returns fire in Northern Israel (Totals: Israeli soldiers dead = 8; Israeli civilians dead = 2; Lebanese/Hezbollah soldiers dead = 0; Lebanese/Hezbollah civilians dead = 35).
Two days into the fighting.

Is there really any evidence yet that shows Israel cares at all for the loss of civilian life? None that I see. In fact, here's the updated totals - because I'm sure many of you are being inundated with information on the news - 362 total Lebanese/Hezbollah killed; 28 total Israelis killed.

Throughout this time, Israel has continued killing Palestinians in Gaza and the West Bank.

Now, I do have me a very special theory. Essentially, America is a Christian country. That is not to say that the majority of Americans are Christians either by belief or practice, but it is a Christian country. According to standard Christian beliefs, Israel is the chosen people of God. As a result, America has allied themselves with said chosen people. And the people in power truly believe that Israel is acting as the arm of God - and they have believed that for a long time. In the 1973 Arab-Israeli war, the US provided arms to Israel. Recently, we did it again.

The claim is that we are unwilling to deal with a "terrorist" organization. I guess I'm confused because I did not realize that all of Lebanon was a "terrorist" organization. That's because it isn't. Lebanon is a beautiful country .. mark that .. was a beautiful country. I've been there. I listen to news reports and read about places I've been. I know people who are frightened and worried. Civilians in Lebanon are in a panic. And that leads to ...
I was watching - while in Florida - a news feature about a Lebanese man whose town had been bombed. I can't tell you much about it because the recording was interrupted. The reporter and the man had begun running because a bomb exploded ...
... and CNN cut away from it to bring the live new conference of old information - the doctor and 2 nurses being charged in Katrina related deaths. I can't understand it. CNN.

Most information available on al-jazeera.net.
Robert Fisk, syndicated columnist, wrote a truly eye-opening article that is spot on. Please read it, regardless of your affiliation.

By the Numbers

2006-07-07T23:40:00.000-04:00

No one can successfullly argue that our lives are not filled with numbers. Just look at a clock. For the most part, regrettable as it may be, we are ruled by time.

"What do you want to do?"

"I dunno. How much time do we have?"
Therein lies a prime example. SO here's some numbers from me. Just to give some ideas...

287.56 - the amount of money in taxes that was waived in front of me on my last paycheck
5 - the highest number of discs I have had from Netflix at any one time.
8765 - the number of items currently on my iTunes
07/11/2006(1525 EDT) - the "as of" for the previous item
34946 - the number of minutes that 8765 turns into (plus 46 seconds)
250 - the width, in pixels, of my sidebar (to your right)
3.14 - the exact number that is pi
23349.7 - the distance I travelled between August 10, 2005 and June 15, 2006 - almost exclusively between school and home
36.82 - the average fuel economy for last school year
116 - the difference, measured in cents, between the cheapest and most expensive gallon of gas I purchased last school year
348 - the number of months left on my mortgage
2.919 - my undergrad GPA
6 - the number of people (that I know of) that read this blog
33 - one of my former students' favorite numbers
10-40 - a request for time, in my old bus driver lingo
2 - fewest number of shifts I worked at a paying job
172 - the number of products with "unbiased ratings" in August 2006's Consumer Reports
3 - the number of days between when I started this post and when I posted it

... and of course:
4 8 15 16 23 42

Double Whammy

2006-07-05T18:23:00.000-04:00

Reuters article

So, Ken Lay died yesterday. On some level, all human death is unfortunate; however, there are some deaths that are less unfortunate than others. I'm sure Mr. Lay did a handful of noble things in his life, but odds are they won't really make up for the lives he ruined in the name of greed. I say this with conviction, because he was convicted for it. My hardly subconscious joy lies in that secondary blessing of shame that lies on Wikipedia. For the record, I firmly believe that Wikipedia has the potential to destroy the world - at least the minds of our children. The above article reinforces much of what I tell my students regarding the "W" word. DON'T USE IT AS AN INFALLIBLE SOURCE. Some of my friends (one Sutton, in particular) use it as a tool to help them begin understanding certain things or to access statistics (... or whatevertheheck it is he does with it). I steer myself clear of it. I'm not especially happy that I had to type the title so often in this post, even. So says me. But who am I?

pH Balanced (When I started writing this)

2006-07-03T23:00:00.000-04:00

So, how's this: I spent so much time trying to figure out the correct capitalization of pH that I forgot why I was going to title this posting like that. I mean, obviously it's a reference to the old Secret slogan (read: Strong enough for a man; pH Balance just for women. Sexist? They changed it anyways.) Odd. Perhaps my absent-mindedness is finally catching ... what was I saying?
Irregardlessly.
I like to consider myself ambitious (not like Macbeth, though) and generally not the "quitter" type. But I don't want to stay where I am in grad school. It's rather subpar in fulfilling my expectations. Granted, I'm not especially interested in the "education" they are giving me; nonetheless, I feel like a good program would force me, maybe subversively, to retain something and find some measure of worth in the program. It doesn't. I'm considering transferring. The last time I planned to change the school I was at was in high school - and I almost got expelled to make it happen!

I wish there were other effective ways to express a C. Montgomery Burns tone besides stupid italics ... what kind of "information age" are we really in, anyway?

I remembered why I chose that as the title - I wanted to talk about what I consider my strengths as a person.
I've always found my worth in what I could do:

When I was a kid, I could do school.
When I was a teenager, I could do writing.
When I was in college, I could make money to pay for college.
When I was a ... Now my value is mostly in my job.

I like to think I'm a decent teachist, but it's summer time. I have no kids to validate me. So I'm taking classes. I hate my classes. HATE. So I have stuff around my house that needs attention. My windows are ashambles (the actual windows, not treatments). I just finished fixing them. So I feel strong. Then I look around my office and I see the damn mess that is my life. And I feel frustrated. I've got bookshelves full of books that I want to catalogue and organize. I've got a dozen boxes of school stuff I need to sort through. I've got comic strips recently published that I need to scan for my future curriculum & for next school year. I've got old window blinds on the floor. I've got about 8 oz of caulk I need to run downstairs. And I keep misspelling words that I shouldn't misspell!!!!
Why is it that when people see something horrific, they think about it constantly, but when they see a link directing them to a video of 2 grown men playing with Diet Coke and Mentos for three minutes, they click it almost immediately?

The Undead ...

2006-06-28T10:55:00.000-04:00

I've recently started to "read" Audiobooks. And don't give me that crap about how you "don't read audiobooks, you listen to them." Because the only difference I see at this point is that with audiobooks, you don't physically see the spelling of a word. I consider myself an avid reader, and have decided that Audiobooks are just another facet I needed to add to my repertoire.

Ok, let me clarify quickly - I've already read through several audiobooks, and this insertion into my library really began as a way to refresh my memory about certain books. I teach English, and as such, I need to read frequently in order to stay with my class. Audiobooks have severly minimized the time I have to spend preparing for class. Perhaps I am overzealous here, but I like to be at about the same point in the novels my kids are reading so that I don't move beyond them in discussions. Also, let the record show, I drive over an hour in each direction to get to work. Fortunately, I really love my job. So anyway, I've since decided to read for pleasure with Audiobooks; this does not by any means indicate that I will be relinquishing text reading. Simmer down.

The point of this is that I just finished Dracula, by Bram Stoker. It really was extremely well-written. I know that Stoker did not come up with the idea of Dracula, but that his story was based on legends already in existence. Nonetheless, the narrative style is unlike anything I can think of before it, and better than similar styles since. I'd already read Chuck Palahniuk's Diary. It's similar in terms of styles - diaries and what not - and supernatural elements, but not so much in -how do you say?- scope. As I was saying, Stoker took the diaries of several people and used them to narrate the tale of the most storied vampire in our history (to date ... Blade is nothing, stop trying). I also just started reading Mirror, Mirror (Gregory Maguire) and it's excellent so far.

So, read any good books lately?

Woosh

2006-06-26T12:17:00.000-04:00

And a (literally) torrential downpour happened last night. If you're reading this, you probably heard about it. Something like 7 inches in an 8-hour period. It literally rained - and heavily - for at least 6 hours straight. I know this because I couldn't sleep through it. I was dogsitting, and the house I was staying in has a tin-like ambience and window-unit air conditioners, so the typicaly dripping noise was replaced with a much more forceful "plat". So I found it difficult to fall into a slumber. To make matters worse, I was in someone else's home, so I didn't have my normal accoutrements to make the time pass in an efficient way. I would have liked to have done some reading, or at least listening (I'm starting to utilize the books-on-tape thing). I have several books I'm in the middle of, and 4 hours (the time I wanted to be asleep) would have really taken a chunk out of at least one of them.

I'm back at school today. Not because kids are coming back anytime soon. Though summer school does start on July 7. I'm making attempts to help revise the curriculum I will be teaching next year. I've accomplished one of my goals - to reduce the amount of Shakespeare my kids read. I rather think his literature is overread and overtaught. So says me. But who am I?

Attempts at updating

2006-06-19T17:15:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, I bought a Moleskine. It's basically a little notebook that I can carry around with me in order to jot down my thoughts on the run. I go places, and don't always have access to paper and what not - until now. In my youth (that is to say, when I was younger), I would just grab whatever paper product was around:

napkin, paper towel, sugar packet, toilet paper

... I was quite indiscriminant. That was because I was writing music then. I'm not really into that mind set anymore, so we'll see what comes out. I think I will have to be very deliberate to begin with. Someday, there's a book coming out of me, so maybe I'll start getting that info down. Hopefully, it will at least help me clear my mind of all the rattling that goes on inside it.

Soon, the updates will become valid and useful. I promise. I'm still practicing for now.

I Hate to do this, but...

2006-06-15T17:44:00.000-04:00

I was going to try to avoid being that standard political critic, but some things need mentioning at every opportunity. So, apparently, our beloved and fearless American leader has decided that a marine sanctuary is vital to our safety from terrorism. Is this, or is this not, the same person that was all about drilling for oil in an Alaskan wildlife refuge paying no heed to the necessity of their sanctuary? I guess I'm just confused and somewhat baffled by the hypocrisy of our "elected" leaders. Sorry to be that guy.

Titleless

2006-06-14T11:18:00.000-04:00

So, BGE (my power company) apparently is auto-enrolling people into their "Rate Stabilization Plan" since prices are jumping so drastically. I did not know that. Subsequently, wifey called me today to tell me that we had to opt out. Done and done. I would rather have that jump than pay an extra 5% to top it out. Eh. I got it done in time though, whew!

So, as you can see, I'm not so keen on the quickness of updating the bloggery. But I promise to try and get better. I'm gunning for a weekly update. We'll see.

So, the purpose here is not yet concreted, but my ideas are floating around. Observations? Word play? Figuring out how to use this thing? Still taking ideas from you though.

Things to do ...

2006-06-05T09:36:00.000-04:00

Today is the final exam for my Freshmen ... that means my school year is effectively over. Yes, I will have students in my room for the next couple of days, but that's cool - in general they're good kids. But I do have to clean out my room. I've started already because my seniors left two weeks ago. I'm also spending some time preparing for a new class next year (the aforementioned one).
Wifey is out of town for a couple of days. That makes me a bachelor for the week. Not necessarily a good thing. I have a few tasks I need to accomplish to maintain my sanity. I still don't really know what I want to do with this blog - I don't think I want to do the "personal diary" thing; I would rather try to engage people & hopefully make it interactive. Ideas are more than welcome, though I have begun to formulate some myself ...

Blahbiddity Blah Blah

2006-05-30T13:25:00.000-04:00

So, I played racquetball yesterday. That was fun. Because I know there is the potential for people to actually read this, I feel like I need to explain myself. I'm a teacher and I am "developing" a new class for next year. It covers the ideas of communication in all its facets, including modern variants. So, I figured I should include blogging in my curriculum. But, the thing is, is that I have never blogged before, so I need to become somewhat adept at it before I can teach it. If anyone out there has any ideas, just let me know. I'm pretty open about my ignorance...